Pity Party

Done and conquered my pity party.  Last 2 days I decided to throw one for myself.  I guess I had a lot of emotions in me needing to get out.  I was angry at my body and cancer.  I was done feeling the way I was and trying to explain it to others.  If someone was down about my situation I wanted to lift them up.  If someone was positive about it I wanted to be mad that they didnt realize how hard this is.  I wanted to be normal again.  Why me?  It was pretty pathetic.  I kept looking at myself and thinking where is that strong woman every one is talking about.  You just got good news so why are you so sad and angry.  Because Im very human and not perfect.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13  There is the strength people see.  There is my hope, peace, and joy.  I lost site of it for a few days.  I sat back and let my human side take over.  Fear, doubt, anger, depression.  It was the BEST thing for me.  I needed it.  I had to remember who I needed to turn to.  I needed to remember who the glory goes to.  My dad texted me this, "concentrate on what is pure, kind, joyful, etc..."  Best advice ever.  I woke up today with a fresh start/look at all of this.  I woke up praising My Lord.  May I always look to Him for the strength I need to face each day.